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Helping Children with Disabilities Build Vocational Identity
Career development is a lifelong process, starting far earlier than most people realize. Long before a teen chooses a major or fills out a job application, they are forming impressions about work, identity, and their place in the world. Through play, school exposure, family conversations, and observing adult roles, children begin imagining what is possible and what might be meant for them.
For children with disabilities, these early experiences may be reduced or altered due to medical appointments, accessibility barriers, or well meaning overprotection. These limitations can affect the development of a clear and confident vocational identity or lead to uncertainty about what future possibilities exist.
John Holland’s theory, often called the RIASEC model, emphasizes the connection between personality and career satisfaction. His model identifies six personality types: Realistic, Investigative, Artistic, Social, Enterprising, and Conventional. It suggests that people do best in careers that align with their preferences and interests. This idea of career fit is just as important for children with disabilities, but they may need extra support and more varied exposure to discover what suits them best.
Career development is something that happens over a lifetime, and it’s shaped by many parts of our lives — not just work. Psychologist Donald Super explained that as we grow up, we take on different roles like being a child, student, worker, or family member, and these roles change over time. He described career development as a series of stages we move through, such as growing, exploring options, starting a path, keeping it going, and eventually slowing down. He also created a helpful visual called the Life Career Rainbow to show how all these parts of life can overlap. For children and adults with disabilities, moving through these stages may look a little different, which is why starting support early and being thoughtful about it is so important.
This is why it is so important to begin thinking about career development early for children with disabilities. While transition planning is a required part of the IEP process starting at age 14 or earlier in some states, families and schools can support these conversations much earlier. Exposure to different career paths, daily routines, and adult roles through books, hobbies, volunteering, and inclusive education can help broaden a child’s view of what is possible.
Of course, every child’s development is unique, and some may face more significant challenges than others. But that only makes accommodation and support even more critical. Teaching children how to recognize their needs, seek supports, and build self advocacy skills not only promotes independence but also expands the range of vocational options available to them.
Families play a vital role by encouraging exploration, supporting strengths, and helping their children access community resources. When families learn about programs like job coaching, vocational rehabilitation, and assistive technology early on, they have more time to prepare and create opportunities for success.
Everyone has a vocational identity, a sense of purpose that reflects who they are and what they can contribute. For youth with disabilities, meaningful and enjoyable work is possible. It begins with exposure, support, and the belief that every person can discover a path that fits their unique combination of abilities, values, and interests.
Supporting Career Development Across the Life Span
While schools play an important role in preparing students for life after graduation, families are essential partners in career development—especially for children with disabilities. There are simple and meaningful ways to support this growth at every stage:
For school age children:
Expose them to a wide range of careers and roles. Talk about your own work, explore jobs in the community, and use books or videos to introduce different possibilities, including those that involve accommodations.
Encourage interests through play and hobbies. Pay attention to what your child enjoys and help them explore those interests in ways that build confidence and curiosity.
Build life skills and independence early. Even everyday tasks like managing routines or asking for help lay the foundation for future self advocacy.
For teens:
Be actively involved in transition planning. Make sure their IEP includes career goals, practical skill building, and opportunities to experience real world settings like internships or volunteer roles.
Connect them with real world experiences. Whether it is part time work, helping out in a family business, or trying new roles at home, these opportunities teach valuable lessons.
Support self understanding and advocacy. Help your teen learn to recognize their own strengths and needs, and practice explaining them in ways that are useful at school or work.
For young adults:
Offer guidance while encouraging independence. Support them as they explore their next steps, even if the path is uncertain or nontraditional.
Help them access available resources. Connect them with disability services in college, vocational rehabilitation programs, or workplace supports.
Celebrate small steps. Whether it is applying for a job, enrolling in a class, or reaching out for support, recognize these actions as meaningful progress.
What About the Other Kids? Understanding the Sibling Experience
As a mom of four — one of whom has medical and cognitive special needs — I’ve had those quiet moments of wondering: Am I giving the other kids enough of my time? Are they carrying too much? How is this really affecting them? These are the kinds of questions that many parents ask themselves but don’t always say out loud.
When one child in the family has a disability, it naturally shifts some of the family dynamics. And while the focus is often on the child with the most visible needs, their siblings are also deeply affected — sometimes in beautiful ways, and sometimes in more complicated ones.
The Upside: Empathy, Strength, and Deep Bonds
Siblings of children with disabilities often grow up with a heightened sense of empathy and compassion. They may become more comfortable with difference, more inclusive of others, and more emotionally aware from an early age. Many siblings describe a deep bond with their brother or sister, and a sense of pride in watching them grow and achieve.
They may also develop resilience and flexibility — learning how to adapt to changing circumstances, take initiative, and support those around them. In some cases, this experience even inspires their future goals and career paths.
I’ve seen this firsthand in my own family. I was inspired to pursue a career in psychology growing up as the child of a parent with a disability. And guess what? All three of my sisters now work with children with disabilities! These experiences shaped all of us in different ways — and opened doors to meaningful, values-driven work.
The Challenges: Stress, Guilt, and Feeling Overlooked
Of course, these experiences aren’t always easy. Siblings might feel a range of emotions: frustration when routines revolve around their sibling’s needs, sadness when their own feelings go unnoticed, or guilt for wanting more attention. Some try to be the “easy one” to avoid adding to family stress, which can make it harder for them to speak up when they’re struggling.
Stress can show up in different ways, from increased anxiety to changes in mood or behavior. It’s not unusual for siblings to carry quiet worries about the future or to take on responsibilities that feel a little too big for their age.
How Families Can Support All Their Children
There’s no perfect solution, but small intentional steps can make a big difference. Here are a few ways families can support siblings:
Keep the conversations going. Check in often and create space for them to talk about their own experiences and feelings.
Carve out individual time. Whether it’s a special outing or a few minutes at bedtime, one-on-one time helps them feel seen.
Educate and include. Help siblings understand their brother or sister’s disability in age-appropriate ways and involve them in ways that feel empowering, not burdensome.
Connect them to others. Sibling groups, supportive peers, or a counselor can help them process their feelings and realize they’re not alone.
Siblings of children with disabilities are navigating a unique path — one that can shape them in powerful, meaningful ways when they have the right support. By noticing their needs, listening to their voices, and celebrating who they are as individuals, we can help all our children grow up feeling loved, supported, and connected.
So take a deep breath — they’re going to be okay. In fact, they’re going to grow into some of the most loving and empathetic adults you’ll ever know. Just think about how this experience has already made you more patient, more courageous, and more attuned to the needs of others. You're growing alongside them — and that matters, too.
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